Out of the darkness ...

I know now more than ever that everything in life is relative.

For three weeks after my surgery, I lived in misery. Absolute, utter misery. From problems with medications I was taking to never-ending nausea and pain, it seemed like everything that could go wrong was doing just that. 

I knew that I needed to get in protein. But the protein shakes that sounded so good pre-surgery nauseated me. My tastes seemed to change minute by minute. I gagged down most food and threw a lot of it back up again.

Some things got "stuck" in my new pouch. I was able to eat canned tuna one day ... and had it get painfully caught in the narrow exit from my new stomach.

I wish I could say something positive about those days, but I find it extremely difficult to do so. As I told a friend the other day, had someone suggested that they were going to assassinate me, I would have said ... let me buy you the bullets. It was a dark, dark time.

Finally, some light shone at the end of the tunnel. A member of an online support group for weight loss surgery patients helped me realize that I might be lactose intolerant now --- something that can happen with people who undergo this type of surgery. I stopped eating dairy in any fashion ... and my stomach stopped hurting. My nausea dissipated.

Ahhhh ... it might have been raining outside, but the sun started to peek through in my soul.

At the prompting of my gym owner friend, Joan, I started taking a probiotic. The healing began and has continued.

I now have been able to go back to the gym: Something that I was simply too weak to do prior to the discoveries we made. I can actually keep food down rather than immediately throwing it up. I have energy.

And the weight loss ... it's been great. I have lost approximately a pound a day, especially now that I am not fighting my metabolism. My clothing has been getting smaller.

I even went out on a limb a couple of days ago and ordered some new shirts online. They're just T-shirts, but they are small victories. I also ordered a pair of capri pants: Three sizes smaller than what I usually wear. Prior to surgery, I wore a women's 20 petite. I ordered a pair of size 16 petites. I think I'll be able to wear them by the time they arrive and hope that they'll be too big by summer.

The fog that I was in during those three weeks has dissipated. My brain is much clearer than it's been in a long, long time. I think that might be part of the transformation as well, and I am glad for it.

So ... everything that is happening now is relative. Compared to those three weeks, life is beautiful. A gift. And every day, it gets a little better.