Actually,
this is sort of on topic and sort of not. OK .. it’s a bit of a rant.
What I’ve
been thinking a lot about lately are perceptions. After a lifetime of battling
a weight problem, I find it funny that I only now am noticing how people look
at me at restaurants or in public. I don’t know why I am so conscious of this
right now. Perhaps it’s because I’m a little more aware of myself nowadays. As
things change, I find myself slightly self-conscious. My clothing doesn’t fit
right. I’m always thinking about necklines and cleavage or jeans that might
fall down. I’m too cheap to spend too much on clothing until I reach some
significant goals.
The other
day was a perfect example. Rick and I went to Subway, and I ordered a sandwich
that I knew would be relatively safe: a breakfast concoction of egg whites and
bacon on flatbread with lots of tomatoes and light mayonnaise. It was the April
special: $5 for a footlong. I think the six-inch version was $3.75 or something
like that, so I decided to order the longer sandwich and have it for not two,
but FOUR meals. My stomach accepts about three inches of sandwich without too
much trouble (I usually stop a bite or two from completion, just to be safe).
Anyway,
after I ordered the sandwich, I noticed the man behind us in line giving me a
look. It wasn’t a nice one. He glanced at me up and down, then at the bag of
sandwiches in my hand and rolled his eyes a bit.
I was not
surprised or hurt. Instead I was angry. Actually, I was downright pissed. First
off, he didn’t know me. He didn’t know my situation. And, frankly, it didn’t
matter. No one deserves that kind of look. I don’t care if you weigh 100 or 400
pounds. It is simply not proper to stand in judgment of anyone. Period.
The other
day, I was thinking about the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have
them do unto you. When did we stop living by that credo? As a child, my parents
pounded it (not literally) into my head. Both of my parents were infinitely
respectful toward others. My father, especially, knew the value of kindness. He
and I had some philosophical differences that I shall not go into here (nothing
that EVER changed my love and admiration for him), but one of the things I always
tried to emulate was his approach to others. He was charming and honest, but
didn’t take crap.
I didn’t
say anything to the man in Subway. What good would it have done? There are some
people who just don’t get it. But I couldn’t help but wonder how many other “fatties”
he’d treated to his own special brand of condemnation?
No matter
how much weight I lose, I have a feeling that my mentality will always stay the
same: I will always remember where I’ve been and what it was like to grow up
overweight. I will always be a fat girl, if not in body, then in mind.
I used to
think that was a bad thing, but I’m not so sure. If it helps me to keep my eyes
open to the struggle that all obese people face, then I’m good with it.
I don’t ever want to be THAT person … the one to whom the Golden Rule doesn’t
apply.
Brenda, I have become very outspoken in situations like this and dont care what people do or say. However, there are people out there that are very very rude to the ones that are overweight. My used to be best friends husbands brother told me once, Wow Melody you look really good and that's good you lost a lot of weight cause guys don't like fat women! This is when I lost a lot of weight due to my husband leaving me. Then that guy had a lot of nerve to want to date me, I avoided him! When someone looks at you like that, I would ask them whats the problem? If no response, just say your on the list of shitty Judgemental people!
ReplyDeleteYour doing very good and keep it up!!
Melody Morgan